Hoosick School Dist.

Four score and seven years ago … Oh wait, sorry, wrong speech, wrote that one for a friend a while back. Here we go, sorry about that.

Good evening distinguished guests, family, friends, and of course my mother. My name is Max Haar and this long word *motion to sash* that I can barely spell or better yet pronounce gives me the privilege of speaking to you on behalf of the Class of 2015. Despite the fact that I think the school has made a monumental mistake letting me speak, they insisted that I do so.

With that being said, I have decided to take the advice of everyone who has offered it, and will try to keep this somewhat brief.

What can be said about the class of 2015 that sits behind me? A lot actually, most of which I’ve learned is “not appropriate for graduation.” So instead let’s look at what we as a class have learned over these past 4 years of high school. We have learned that algebra and trig require you to clap and sing, and Ms. Coli taught us that Comedy Central can help you on your AP exam. We have learned that Mr. Clairmont can grow a full mountain man beard overnight and is foolish enough to let one of us shave it. Always, always check the ESRT. Oh, and the non-profit department store Ms. Crannell was running out of her room was at times a better option than Bed, Bath and Beyond. We have learned that Mr. Malikowski can recite pi to 1,000 places to compliment the number of ties he owns, that Mr. Michalak was more concerned with Game of Thrones than anyone returning The Old Man and The Sea and that Mr. Facin WILL cancel school on your birthday if you threaten him with impeachment. Trust me it works, 4 years running

However, this class is not defined by the 4 years. We have grown up in an era unlike any other. We have come a long way since our humble beginnings with AIM, the ENV3, and Backyard Baseball. We are the technology generation accused of being too consumed in social media and texting to achieve. Yet behind me sit section champions, regional champions and state champions, many of whom sport the title of scholar athlete as well. Alongside them are students involved in drama productions, earth clubs, community service clubs, and made up clubs to enhance our college applications. And seated next to all of these accomplished students is Noah Chani.

It has been a crazy ride for sure, and I’d like to take some time to thank everyone who has made this journey possible for me and my fellow classmates. To our parents, thank you for always being there for us. From tearing up watching us get on the bus on that first day of kindergarten to being embarrassed as a parent when you saw us on Facebook hanging off the side of a wagon riding through the village on the last day of senior year. To the faculty, for teaching us words, equations, how to properly insult the Common Core and … yeah that’s basically it.

Now that I’m about to graduate I feel as if we can all be on a first name basis so, Dave, Sarah, Bill, Lynda, Cathy, and any other teacher please accept my friend requests, thanks again. To the custodial staff for cleaning up after us, I recently learned that the gap between the tables is not actually a trash can, my apologies. To the administration including Ken, whom you may now block on both Facebook and just recently Twitter, I say thank you. To Mr. Chase, thank you for stepping up this year and filling in as principal. Please continue to promote me and my classmates on Linkedln. Also sorry I punched you on the last day of school, but rules are rules. To anyone else in the school I am forgetting, thank you for doing whatever it is you do. To the class of 2015, glad we could make it here today, thank you for making these past 4 years a very unique experience.

To my mother and father thank you dearly for consistently asking me about my homework every night, including this speech all the way up until this evening. No mom, it’s not done I’m just ad Iibbing right now. But seriously, thank you. To my sister Zoey, what can I say? Throughout my high school experience nearly every teacher asked me what it’s like to live in your shadow, to have such a successful older sister, to not be the golden child. To answer their questions, I wouldn’t know. But thank you Zoey for being a good sport all the years while I harassed you, asked for your help, and gloated to you about my accomplishments, I’m so glad we have grown past that. Above all, thank you for motivating me to be where I am today, finally better than you. To my friends- if any of you consider me that- thank you for making this ride an incredible one.

Before I go I want to leave you with some words of wisdom to guide you through life after high school. I actually couldn’t decide between two so I’m going to go with both, and you can just pick which one you like more. Dwayne Michael Carter Jr. also known by his stage name of Lil Wayne once said, “Life’s a beach I’m just playing in the sand,” and while he may have followed that up with a handful of obscenities, the message remains the same. Enjoy life, and explore. The world is your oyster, or in this case beach, so go dip your toes in the water at college or wherever you choose to spend the next few years, and remember to see what life has to offer.

Finally, I depart with this quote from Greek philosopher Aristotle, which will hopefully help you get through college, “In the pursuit of knowledge, if you ever don’t know something, just do what I did and google it.” Thank you.

Good evening friends, family, faculty and fellow graduates. Today, the student body stands before you on the edge of their past and future. We began high school four years ago as children, and are leaving here today to truly begin our lives as young adults in this society. Some of us will go to college, travel the world or start our own businesses. It’s no longer some distant reality. Today, we begin our own pathways into the real world. [Read more…] about Hoosick Falls Salutatory