Friends and colleagues, teachers and mentors, parents and relatives from near and far.
Hello and welcome. First I would like to note that yes, this is my real voice and I am not altering it in any way. Are we all set? Good.[private]
So this is it! Graduation. Sort of a daunting term, isn’t it? We’ve spent the last 18 years of our lives being brought up to speed on everything of basic value that has occurred in the world up until this point in time (a feat rendered impossible were it not for the dedication of our incredible teachers), and now we are expected to push off into the unknown with only the knowledge we gained, a vague idea of what the future will be like, and a handsome stock of money from our grad parties. However, those of you who know anything about young adults are well aware that even the largest bank accounts will be reduced to near nothing in a matter of weeks.
Regardless, we are willing to give our best try at adulthood. Everyone around us already has, so really it is the least we can do. These teachers have navigated us through the dangerous jungle of our own minds along a constantly evolving and widening path, occasionally even pushing us forward blindly so that we might personally discover some new and strange means of passage. They have worked tirelessly for the sole purpose of our benefit,and in return we put balloons in the halls, cups of water on the walkway, and tried to sell the school… And yet here they are. Still eager to see us manipulate that creativity and generate something beautiful as we move on to the next stage in life. And for that, we thank you.
Now parents are a different story. Some of you sitting here are probably still holding grudges from when we were four and broke your favorite clock while playing inside even after all of the warnings not to. I’m sorry Mom. Deep down we know that the love and pride you express toward us is unlimited and invaluable, and while you are going through empty-nest syndrome in the upcoming months, just know that we too will be missing your reassuring faces as we look back fondly on birthdays with homemade feasts, fast-food trips after practices and games, and there always being a decent supply of food in the fridge. Yes, most of our memories are food related, but hey, we’re still growing. On a serious note, as parents and family members you have always been there for us and we will never be able to repay that debt. And after all that you have been through, despite all of the challenges and unique circumstances faced, you can now say that you have successfully raised at least one high school graduate who has the potential to change the world. Congratulations.
So where does that leave us as students? I believe that I speak for us all when I say that although college and work after high school will be an exciting experience, given enough time we will look back with a deep desire for the simplicity of high school life, with all its minor flaws overlooked. We will yearn for friendships that at one point seemed indestructible but have since crumbled. For friendly bouts of heated arguments with our favorite teachers, who have been replaced by strict bosses and professors. For the security and pleasure that can only come from walking into the same place for over half of a decade and knowing that you are accepted and encouraged to succeed.
Moving forward, it is our duty to make the world, our country, and our community a safe and healthy place to raise children of our own, so that they too can be nurtured and brought up in a place similar to Hoosick Falls. Minus the PFOA of course.
Wherever we end up, our legacy will grow and extend into a powerful force that can be traced back to this very school.
After today we must go forth and do great things for both ourselves and others.
Remember to be yourself and the rest will follow. Elicit excitement. Elicit intrigue. Elicit passion. Just don’t do illicit drugs.
Now keeping up with a tradition set by last year’s valedictorian, Maxwell Haar, I will commence the yearly graduation selfie.
Stay cheeky Class of 2016, and be remarkable. Thank you.[/private]