Picking The “Wrong Dog” In New Lebanon

by Thaddeus Flint
The anonymous flier or pamphlet has long been an integral part of American History and its politics.
Sometimes being anonymous is important and the outcome beneficial. There was Thomas Paine’s anonymous pamphlet, “Common Sense,” which offered American colonists an argument for freedom from British rule. The Federalist Papers by Alexander Hamilton, James Madison and John Jay, promoting the ratification of the U.S. Constitution, was published under a single pseudonym.
[private]Sometimes, however, like the recent anonymous flier seeking to denigrate the political career of New Lebanon Councilman Matt Larabee, the intent is cowardly malice and of no benefit to anyone at all.
Well, actually, there was some benefit. “I made copies of that flier and handed them out at the Democratic meeting,” said Larabee. “This was what pushed me to run for Town Supervisor.”
The flier in question, titled “ATTENTION REAL DEMOCRATS OF NEW LEBANON” must be important because the author wrote the title in all caps. “Plans calling for the resignation of corrupt, self-interested New Lebanon Town Board member and so-called ‘Democrat’ Matt Larabee are well underway,” continues the anonymous author, who then goes on to list various offences Larabee is guilty of without going through all the time and bother of substantiating any one of them.
After the author got done centering the whole document so it looked all nice and centered, he or she printed out a bunch of copies and then went off to post them publicly. Most would probably have taped them to lamp posts or pinned them up on the bulletin board at Stewart’s, but somehow this author had access to a certain key. This key could open the doors of the Town Hall. So the Town Hall was unlocked with that key either late on July 11 or early July 12 and the fliers were neatly placed in each of the Town mailboxes, one of which was Larabee’s.
Larabee came in around 2 pm to check his mail. “I actually laughed out loud,” said Larabee. “This is hilarious! It’s so filled with untruths.”
There are many keys to the Town Hall so narrowing down the author is not really possible. Larabee said he could only cross one name off the list, “That one-armed wall-hanger hanger, guy,” this being Scott Larabee, Matt’s brother, who is the Town Hall’s maintenance supervisor. The Councilman has his suspicions but refuses to name names. “I’m not going to wrongly accuse anybody,” he said. After reading the flier a few times he did however come to the conclusion that the author’s use of punctuation “stinks.”
The basic gist of the flier is that 1. Larabee is a pawn of the evil race track maven, Howard Commander and 2. Larabee is actually a Republican.
Supposedly Commander buys fuel from Larabee Fuels and pays for his purchase before the fuel is delivered every year. In compensation Larabee has fast tracked Commander’s campground application.
“Mr. Commander does not pay up front,” said Larabee Tuesday. He was, however, in favor of getting the campground permit done and over with. The campground matter has been going on for years now, and the whole matter is almost farcical because Commander opens the campground every year, permit or no permit, according to Larabee. Larabee said he wanted the permit issue resolved once and for all. “I would do that for any business that has gone through all those hoops and barrels,” he said.
Is Larabee a secret Republican? “My parents were Republicans when I first signed up to vote,” said Larabee, “so I signed up as a Republican too. Big deal. Also, my whole family is not Republican.”
The flier had made it seem that Republicans were born that way due to heredity and breeding, like milk cows or dogs that slobber too much.
Larabee did switch parties when the New Lebanon Democrats came to him looking for someone to run for Town Councilman. Larabee agreed with their ideas, was nominated and eventually won his seat on the Town Board. “Party lines mean nothing to me,” he said. “Nobody can back all the policies of either party.” The flier states, “He is a Republican. If you want proof, just ask him his position on gun control.”
“I support the second amendment,” he answered. “That doesn’t mean you are a Republican. That’s ridiculous.”
“A true wolf in sheep’s clothing will be exposed. Fooled us once. Shame on us. Fool us twice? Not going to happen,” writes anonymous with a key to the Town Hall.
What actually seems to have been exposed is that Larabee is able to weather a storm and come out stronger. The New Lebanon Democrats have endorsed him as their candidate for Town Supervisor in the upcoming November elections.
“Someone picked the wrong dog’s cage to rattle,” said Larabee.[/private]